Steven Howell aka Hollow Sun
Just over four months ago, my dear friend and mentor, Steve Howell, passed away.
I still can’t believe it.
Steve was, for me, a great inspiration. Someone with whom I shared so much, be it our sense of humour or our love of music and, in particular, synths. Our friendship was one of mutual respect and started when I emailed him to thank him for his free sample packs. Apparently, I was one of, if not, the first people to do so. From that moment on, we emailed, MSN’d and Skype’d very regularly. But we also met physically on a few occasions and spoke a lot on the phone. Steve got me work with various people like Akai and Alesis and a large part of the equipment in my studio was down to this working relationship.
Anyway, after his death, I vowed I would write something to commemorate him. But I’m still struggling. I set up a condolences page that has had numerous entries, all of which have brought comfort to his wife, Angela, and daughter, Alice. That helped me too, seeing how he had touched so many other lives. But a day or two after he left this mortal coil, I noticed his Skype account was still active and it just felt right to leave him a message there, as we often did in the past.
So, here is that message. Some of it contains references to private jokes, but I think you’ll get it. I think, and hope, it says all I want to say about this great man…
“Good afternoon, sir…
I thought I’d drop you a line seeing as you saw fit to fuck off without letting me get the last word in. But some things never change 😉
For once, with you, I’m lost for words. Not a common occurrence in our conversations I grant you, but you’ve pulled the ultimate trump card and so I doff my trilby to you. I can’t quite grasp the fact that you won’t be responding to this with some similar, barb ridden but wholly affectionate bollocks and that makes me sad. Sad, because it made me laugh out loud every time and we always had an unspoken understanding that we could say whatever we liked to each other, safe in the knowledge that it was always meant in jest.
You and I never fell out, were always the best of friends and shared so much. Our music, our work, our families… all these things mattered to you and I equally. So much so that neither of us could wait to tell the other one about developments in any of those areas. Whether it was a new sample library or Alice winning yet more accolades, you blessed me with sharing that information and I loved to hear it. Equally, I did the same and you always responded, remarked and had some story to tell that would be related to it, with some moral message at the end.
I valued your experience as well as your friendship and I won’t ever forget the day you responded to my first email to you, when I sent you thanks for making all the free samples available on Hollow Sun. I was so happy to have received a response and over the years, realised that I was also happy to have found a kindred spirit.
There is a cheesy saying, to which you’ll probably tell me to fuck off, that says that proper friends can go weeks and months without talking, but when they do, it’s like they only spoke yesterday. That’s how it has always been with you. And judging by the comments I’ve heard and read these past 24 hours, it seems I’m not alone. You fucking internet hussy 😉
I could talk to you for hours, and we often did, much to Jackie’s dismay, but I need to say thank you one last time.
Thank you Steve, for everything you have ever done for me. I can’t quite find the words to express the deep gratitude I owe you. Pretty much everything I do in this industry is down to you. There is a direct lineage that can be traced back to your influence. You taught me so much. I sit here now, some 13/14 years after our first encounter, and I find myself doing stuff and saying stuff and I read it back and think, “That’s Steve”. You taught me, mentored me, listened to me, shared with me and did so much for me. I am so glad we physically met on those few occasions. It made the friendship more corporeal and I will treasure those memories dearly.
You live on in Alice. She is such an amazing woman, but then you always knew that. She was, after all, your greatest achievement, musical or otherwise.
I’m fighting back tears here, but your voice rings in my ears, telling me to man the fuck up 😉
I hope to be able to say one last goodbye in person soon.
Thank you, Steve. I am proud to know you, proud to call you a friend and honoured that you were part of my life.
So, one last time…
Up periscopes and all that! 😉
TTFN x”
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