“What a stupid c**ksucker article” – My Response

This morning, as I read through my emails, I happened across a response to a post I had made last year regarding the release of Reason 6 by Propellerhead Software and their excellent decision to employ a dongle based method of copy protection. The main thrust of the post was to counter the very prevalent argument that was being had by certain people that dongles were the work of the devil and a certain death knell for Propellerhead themselves.

This response was posted on my blog at around 02:05 am today, by an individual who goes by the name of Augure. Here is what he/she had to say…

Now, I moderate comments on my blog, not so I can be selective about who says what, but to manage spam posts and such like. As you’ll see if you look back at my original post, I’ve taken a bit of flack in the past over it, and am more than happy to let these comments through, based on the simple principle of giving someone enough rope, etc., etc.,

I have to admit, reading this comment back, I had to chuckle and marvel at the swiss cheese nature of this person’s argument but I felt I had to retort. Moreover, I also felt I had to make an example of this individual as the very reason (these puns just write themselves) why Propellerhead employed a dongle based copy protection system.

So, ladies & gentlemen, here is my response…

Good evening, Mr & Mrs “Augure” (I’m assuming that’s your name as that is all you left me. Apologies if it is not)

Right, well, where do I start?

Let’s begin with your spectacular opening gambit,

“What a stupid cocksucker article”.

Hmmm… not quite sure on your use of the vernacular here (and in other significant portions of your tirade) but one can only assume you are somewhat displeased by my stance on the subject of the Propellerhead Ignition Key Copy Protection System. You, as I, are perfectly entitled to your opinion, and of course, I defend your right to have one, and express it. However, what I won’t
defend is an opinion based on incorrect information and conjecture. If you want to have an argument, the very least you can do is ensure you have your facts straight.

So, let me help you out.

Your first point states,

“Nobody talks about Reason 6 anymore, and I have discussed about it with tons (hundreds) of independant, professional or novice producers…they don’t give a shit and completely gave up Reason for Ableton Live”

So, nobody talks about Reason 6 any more? Could you, at the very least, quantify that? Nobody? Aside from a vast community that exists over at the Propellerhead’s own forums, Reason is a much discussed subject within the music community as a whole. A simple Google search will show you that. The frenzy that surrounded the Rack Extension announcement last month was proof of that. If you are referring to “real world” discussions, again, I’m having conversations on a daily basis with many people at the heart of the industry, and Reason is often a topic of these chats.

Now, you claim to have, and I quote, “discussed about it with tons (hundreds) of independant [sic], professional or novice producers”. I’m thinking that “hundreds” is a big exaggeration and novice is about the peak of talent you have probably discussed this subject with. Which is, in itself, a massive contradiction to your first statement that nobody is talking about it. By your own admission, you’ve had hundreds of conversations about it. Which is it to be, my angry friend?

Next up, you say,

“they don’t give a shit and completely gave up Reason for Ableton Live”.

Well, I can’t really argue with that. People migrate from one format to another on a regular basis. But everyone? All those “hundreds” of people? All dumped Reason for another product? Ok, I’ll let you have that one purely because it’s a “nothing” statement backed up with zero fact.

Right, what’s next? Ah yes…

“And you know why? Precisely because of the usb dongle, which you tried to rationalized why it’s good or okay to have one, you cocksucker”.

So, “everyone” dropped Reason like a hot potato because of the Ignition Key? And because I argued that the Ignition Key was a good thing, you immediately deduce that I partake of oral sex with another man? Come to think of it, your comment is riddled with references to male fellatio. Now, I’m wondering if that says more about you than it does me. To be perfectly honest, I’ve never had the pleasure of feeling another man’s genitals resting in my mouth, and doubt I ever will. Maybe you would care to enlighten me on its particular delights, seeing as it seems to be a major preoccupation of yours?

Moving swiftly along, you then go on to try and justify your previous statement with this…

“Turns out it is not, and there is a reason why other companies don’t use it. It could be a matter of usb port, privacy or it could be even simplier, people don’t want to fucking have a usb dongle or have to be always connected to the internet for a fucking software, especially if they bought it”.

Ok, first of all, strangely enough, Propellerhead aren’t the only ones using a dongle based protection system. Way before you were probably born, I was using Cubase, with it’s lovely, chunky LPT port based dongle. And to this day, Steinberg still use a dongle. Doesn’t seem to have harmed them. Pro Tools, for many years, required you to have, not only a Mac, but also dedicated hardware. Now that’s a dongle and a half right there! Logic, another long running contender, requires you to have a Mac. Dongles are everywhere, and they seem to be working just fine and dandy, thank you very much.

You mention privacy. Would you be able to explain how a dongle impedes on your privacy? And when you buy a web-cam, or a new mouse, maybe a mobile phone, and you see that it needs to be connected via your USB port, do you throw a hissy fit and run off spamming message boards and blogs protesting the audacity of the manufacturers? No, didn’t think so.

Just to clarify, with the Propellerhead Ignition Key, you only have to have it plugged in when you fire up the application. You can then remove it and tuck it safely away. Same principle applies if you use the Internet Verification. Once you’re authorised, you can drop your connection or disconnect from the network.

One interesting point I’d like to challenge you on. The last bit of that statement,

“people don’t want to fucking have a usb dongle or have to be always connected to the internet for a fucking software, especially if they bought it”.

This statement, and do correct me if I’m wrong, implies that, right up until this point, you’ve been arguing the case for people who have Reason, but HAVEN’T bought it. So, is that the real issue here? Is it the very fact that maybe, you and all of your “professional or novice producers”, have significantly invested time in using a cracked and pirated application, only for the developers to come along and throw a spanner in the works with an as yet unbroken method of copy protection and now you can’t keep up with the rest of us, legitimate, fee paying customers? Is that the problem here? Hmmmmm….

Right, what was next..? Ah yes…

“But the truth is simply, what most non-cocksucking hypocritical producers of music or software (yeah mainly these two ironically) learned with the Internet: if your product can’t be copied or pirated YOU ARE SIMPLY GOING TO SELL LESS, this is basic marketing”.

There you go again with the cock sucking reference. I think you’re a little obsessed. Might be worth talking this out with a therapist or your doctor. Anyway, let’s deal with the rest of this statement. First up, in the same sentence you say, “what most non-cocksucking hypocritical producers of music or software (yeah mainly these two ironically)”. So, let me see if I understand you correctly here. Is this supposed to be an abusive statement? Having used the term cock sucking as a verbal weapon previously, I first assumed that you calling someone a “non-cocksucker” was, in your eyes, a good thing? But then you immediately follow that up with “hypocritical”. I’m not sure who is more confused, you or I? Anyway, let’s move on. You suggest that these people (good or bad) learned via the internet that if you make your software impossible to copy or pirate, they will sell less of that product? That this is a basic marketing principle?

First of all, please take a moment of your time to watch the first part of this video, especially the words that Ernst Nathorst-Böös says, starting at 2m 20s in…

Yup, that’s right. Go back and listen again if you have to. The simple fact is, NEW Reason 6 sales, with the dongle you hate so much, were UP 250%. Yes, that’s right. Propellerhead shipped NEW product, not upgrades, 250% up on any other Reason launch. So, 2 and a half times the existing new user base decided, in their infinite, cock sucking wisdom, that Reason with a dongle was worth having. Kinda blows your theory, not only out of the water, but pretty much out of the known universe.

250% increase in new Reason sales. That, my friend, is a fact. Facts are what you should be using if you want to have an argument. Have that little tip from me, on the house.

Ok, let’s cut to the chase here. There is no such business model in existence that says that deliberately making your product easy to copy is a prudent and profitable way of marketing the aforementioned product. Now, I will concede a point here, to a degree. I recall a conversation with the head of a music software manufacturer, who said that he wasn’t too worried about pirate copies of his software because those that used a pirated copy probably didn’t have the funds to buy it anyway, so that’s money he wasn’t going to have and these people weren’t ever likely to make money from his work, and those that did have the funds were usually the honest type who, after trying it out, would happily go and buy a legitimate copy to use, just because they’re decent, honest people. But then this was in the day before high speed internet. Nowadays, you can download a fully functional demo version of his software that gives you more than enough of the experience to judge whether it is for you or not. But let’s face the facts here. People make and sell stuff to make money so that they can pay the bills, feed their families and carry on making and selling stuff. It’s the way of the world.

Now, you seem to allude to this in the next part of your statement…

“Having a customer base and a good communication about your product is not simply about those who buy it, it’s about all those who will never buy it because they don’t have the money, are learning or casual users but will listen to/use it, share it and talk about it to make more people know about it, use it AND eventually buy it. Propellerhead simply cut all these people out of the circuit, which is the biggest dumb shit they ever done.”

In a way, you’re right. WOM Marketing is a big thing. But what you are completely, totally and utterly wrong in your assumption that it’s the people who will never buy it, that don’t have the money to buy it, the so called “casual users” that do this for them. No, no and thrice no. Trust me, no one cares about those people. They are so far under the radar that they simply don’t exist to companies like Propellerhead. The people that buy Reason, and any other product for that matter, will buy it because the word of mouth is coming from knowledgeable, reliable, legitimate people. Take a look at the Props videos over at their website. When they get Ad-Rock from the Beastie Boys talking about Reason and how he’s used it for years, THAT sells copies of Reason. Not some thieving little toe rag who’s downloaded a warez torrent file, riddled with spyware and pretending to be the next big thing in his squalid bedroom at home with mum and dad.

As for selling less…. I have one thing to say, and forgive me for repeating myself…

250% more new copies of Reason shipped than ever before!! 😀

“Propellerhead simply cut all these people out of the circuit, which is the biggest dumb shit they ever done”.

Really?? They cut ALL those people, and I’m assuming you’re one of them, hence the reason (excuse the pun) you’ve got your panties in a twist over this, and yet new sales went through the roof at a rate of, dare I say it again, 250% more than before?

Oh yeah. That really is big, dumb shit. Big, dumb, super-profitable shit 😉

Talking of dumb shit, here’s your closing statement…

“I’m ready to bet that Reason 6.5 is being released for this specific reason, and if Ableton 9 is good and crackable, bye bye Reason”

What specific reason is that then? Reason 6.5 adds in a major upgrade called Rack Extensions, and probably a slew of tweaks too. That’s the reason.

And yet again, you show your true colours, and the very reason you’ve chosen to string a few words together in probably the weakest argument I’ve ever seen. I think I can safely assume that you have never paid for Reason, or for any other piece of software or music in your life. I can only imagine you are part of the segment of society that is embroiled in this culture of entitlement, that thinks the world owes them whatever they want, that they are entitled to have and possess things without paying for them. Well, I’m sorry buddy, but your free ride in Propellerhead-land is now over. And I can’t stop chuckling at that fact. Rather than being the very people they need, you and your ilk are the very people they don’t need, and you have been suitably, clinically and effectively eradicated from the host that you have leached from for far too long. And as such, you’ll wither and die.

If Ableton 9 is cracked, and I’m sure you’ll have a damn good go, then off you trot. But mark my words. The industry took a great deal of notice when one of the major players reported that after successfully locking down its product to legitimate users, they saw an increase in new sales of 250% 😉

And one more thing…

If you’re going to have an argument, at least have the sense and wherewithal to come into it armed with cold, hard facts. You can leave the sulky child attitude at the door. Mama’s taken away your toy now. When you’re old enough to earn a living wage, you’ll begin to appreciate the simple mechanic of paying for what you use.

Now, don’t go away angry. Just go away 🙂